The Canonical List of Ass-Clowns

If you see your name on the list, you're an ass-clown. You're a pimple on the ass of society. The best thing that could hit you would be a brick to your skull. It would raise the average IQ of the world. Darwin would kill you to raise the bar for the rest of us, and the Green Party would demand an extra day off in your honor. If you're on this list, any mail I get from you or about you will be considered hate mail, and subject to my rules. I reserve the right to satire and ridicule anyone on this list, and if you complain, I just might add you to the list. If you have an addition to the list,
tell me here.

A incomplete list of ass-clowns, with the latest additions at the top:

Tyson (the company, not the cannibalistic boxer) - for making it easier to law-breaking illegals (which they assisted in breaking our laws) to clog our streets demanding amnesty for breaking our laws
Jose Serrano (D-NY) -
you can vote to cut-and-run from Iraq, but you'll always be an ass-clown
Robert Wexler (D-FL) -
you're such an ass-clown, you must be from Flori-duh!
Cindy Sheehan
- your son understood, but you're an ass-clown
Sen. John Ford (and the rest of the "Operation Tennessee Waltz" indicted suspects) - you give politicians a bad name, and that's saying something!
Susan Estrich
- you're finally published - as an ass-clown
Richard "Dick" Clarke
- thanks for contradicting yourself, ass-dart
Dennis Kucinich - how could I have left him off this list?
Any member of ELF
(the Earth Liberation Front, a left-wing radical environmental terrorist organization)
The Administration of Cornell University
- for naming Cynthia McKinney as a "Frank H.T. Rhodes Class of '56 Professor." Why not just club baby seals instead?
Johnny "Ass-Pirate of the Carribean" Depp -
I hope you're enjoying the riots in France, ass-dart!
Ed Asner
- I heard him talk on the radio - he scares me!
Any member of PETA
Any dolt who unleashes a computer virus
Sami Al-Arian
(terrorists suck, and so do you, ass-clown)
"Chemical" Ali (how's it feel to get a bomb dropped on you, ass-clown?)
Peter Arnett (when NBC fires you, you know you suck, ass-clown)
Hans Blix
(would you like a map to find your ass, you ass-clown?)
Pat Buchanan
(Even the Republicans weren't Nazi-like enough for you, ass-clown)
Martha Burk (the Masters don't want you, and neither does anyone else, including Mrs. Spooge, ass-clown)
Bill Campbell (ex-mayor of Atlanta, soon to be in Federal prison? I can only hope)
Jimmy "I never met a dictator I didn't like" Carter (who the FUCK cares what you have to say, ass-clown)
Jacques Chirac
, Prime Minister of France (French people suck, and you are their leader, ass-clown)
Wesley Clark (dingleberry extraordinaire)
Bill "I don't know what 'is' means" Clinton (I hate that you led this country, ass-clown)
Senator Hillary "We are the President" Clinton (the people of New York deserve you, ass-clown)
Rep. John Conyers (people elected you?)
Jean Riel Cretin, Prime Minister of Canada (thank you for your support, ass-clown)
Tom Daschle (if ass-clowns could fly, you'd be their airport)
Howard Dean (can you find Iraq on a map?)
Nicholas De Genova ("professor" from Columbia University, and 18,000,000 ass-clowns in one)
Celine Dion (you and your Chrysler fucking minivan)
Chester Doles, Neo-Nazi ass-clown (I know, it's redundant)
David Duke (if brains were power, you're out of juice, ass-clown)
Louis Farrakhan (if Daschle is the airport, you're air-traffic control, you ass-dart supreme)
Al Gore (some people may have forgotten about you, but I haven't, ass-clown)
Saddam Hussein (Roses are red, violets are blue, you're probably dead, and still, FUCK YOU!)
Jared (from the Subway commercials - the only loving he'll get is in prison)
Jesse Jackson (you give real problems a bad name by showing up, ass-clown)
Michael Jackson (what the FUCK happened to you, you Frankenstein plastic surgery horror story?)
Sen. John Kerry (I don't care if you were a war hero, today you're an ass-clown looking for a "regime change")
Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX) (you're a pinata of stupidity - no matter which way they smack her, something stupid will fall out) for telling the NASA people to get a good shot from the Mars Explorer of the American flag that the astronauts left -- on Mars.
Billy McKinney (go cry Jewish plot to your ass-clown daughter)
Cynthia McKinney (the Jews are smart - they got rid of your stupid ass, ass-clown)
David Brian Mitchell and his butt-ugly wife (death is too good for you, ass-clown)
Michael Moore (I've flushed more intelligent things than you down my toilet, ass-dart)
Rep. Jim "Zionist cabal" Moran (D-VA) (in the words of Frank Zappa, "you're an asshole")
Ralph Nader (and the other Green Party ass-clowns, you watermelons)
Nancy Pelosi (you are the left cheek, but still an ass-clown)
William Pierce (head of "National Alliance" - even being dead isn't enough for you, ass-clown)
John and Patsy Ramsey (I know you killed your girl, ass-clowns)
Rep. Charles Rangel (you want a draft, as long as a Republican isn't sending them into combat, ass-clown)
O.J. "I want to catch the killer" Simpson (murderer AND ass-clown)
Al Sharpton (I can't believe you have the fuzzy skin marbles to run for President - you'll get 1 vote, if you AND your wife vote, ass-clown)
Martha Stewart (your career is going where K-Mart is going - the toilet. See you in prison, ass-clown)
Barbra Streisand (you're still here? Time to go, ass-clown)
Dr. Phil (if you were the LAST therapist in the world, I'd rather be mentally ill)
The people who make 10-10-220 commercials
Best Buy
(or should I call you Worst Buy, you union of maniacal ass-clowns)
Value City
(your stores smell like unwashed street people)
Hardees restaurants (you guarantee Burger King will never go out of business, ass-clowns)
The U.N.
(thanks for rendering yourself obsolete, ass-clowns)
French people (it's only 99% of you that give the other 1% a bad name, ass-clowns)
The assholes at Major League Baseball for ending radio broadcasts of games for free on the Internet
(I won't pay to listen to ass-clowns)
Satellite Radio (there's nothing like ass-clowns who will pay for something that the rest of us get for free)
That stupid fuck from the Verizon commercials
(can you hear me now, ass-clown?)
Actors who think they are qualified to weigh in on political issues, especially Sean Penn, Rosie O'Donnell, Susan Sarandon, Martin Sheen, and anyone whose last name is Baldwin
Anyone who votes FOR a tax increase
People who leave their pets trapped in cars on summer days
The guy from the "Enzyte" commercial - and his butt-ugly "wife"
Any sports figure making more than $1,000,000/year who goes on strike
(oh, you're only going to buy 3 new cars this year? ASS-CLOWNS)


Mrs. Spoogeworld proudly contributed to this list. This list was run through the Spooge-a-matic.

This list was last updated on 5/1/06 .

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