Q. What does "Spoogeworld" mean?

A. Nothing. It's just a funny word. Don't read anything into it. Find something better to do with your time.


Q. Are you a Republican? You seem to say some bad things about Democrats.

A. No. I am a Libertarian with MOST of my views. I don't live my life by someone else's blueprint. Sometimes I don't agree with one party's ideas. Sometimes I embrace the views of different parties. This makes me an independent thinker, not some stooge. If you want to know my exact views on anything, just ask! I'm capable of giving you a specific answer, and I can even tell you why I believe the way that I do. Zell Miller is a Democrat, but I don't think he's an idiot. On the other hand, Trent Lott is an idiot. If you want to know if someone is an idiot, ask me. Maybe I'll even make a list of all known idiots. You can start with the membership of the Screen Actors Guild, if you want.


Q. Are you married.

A. Yes. Very much. I'm off-limits, off the market, etc. You get the idea. All marriage proposals are flattering, but ignored.


Q. Do you really hate Dell computers?

A. Yes. Even more now that they've stopped offering floppy drives standard. Come on, what do they really cost Dell? Three dollars? Four?


Q. Are all [insert whatever racial/religious/sexual-preference/etc group you want here] [insert whatever trait you want to believe that they have]?

A. No. Don't be stupid. Unless you want to be. Then, go away.


Q. Is your baby really the Most Beautiful Baby in the World?

A. Yes. Now bow down before her, you worthless knave.


Q. Are you currently employed?

A. Yes! Someone thinks I'm worth it. You'd be foolish not to hire me. Make me an offer. I get the job done.


Q. What's up?

A. Up is a line which is perpendicular to a plane which is tangent to the surface of the Earth at that point. Now go away.


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