Today's rant:
How about a marketing idea we can really sink our teeth into? Here's an idea I think will work - kill a "Dell Intern", get a free Dell PC. How about kill a Geico gecko, get a free car? Dial 1-800-COLLECT, and a contribution will be made to give electrical shocks to Carrot Top? Certainly we can find a constructive use for commercials.
I didn't mean to kill him, honest. Here's a hint, if you don't want to kill a person, don't fire a rifle at them. James Kopp, the ass-clown who shot a doctor through a window while he say in his home, has been convicted of murder in the second degree. He bought the gun using a fake driver's license, and had clothing to conceal his identity, and 6 unused bullets (found at the crime scene). How can they say it wasn't pre-meditated? He didn't trip and fall out there. He staked out the doctor and assassinated him in his own home. Twenty-five years to life isn't enough. Kopp deserved to die for his crime.
Notice that now that we've committed to going to war, the stock market has had five straight winning sessions. It's about time. Look for economic recovery.
More terrorists arrested? Police arrested three men in connection with homemade bombs found near Gatwick airport in England. We're all in for fun times in the coming weeks. Lock and load, people.
War without U.N. approval? For every person who believes this propoganda, repeat after me: there are 17 "binding resolutions approved by the U.N. to rid Iraq of weapons of mass destruction. SEVENTEEN. The last one, Resolution 1441, called for IMMEDIATE (not delayed) compliance, removal, and disclosure of EVERY weapon on mass destruction. The alternative was detailed as "serious consequences". What do you think that meant? No desert after dinner? No TV tonight? It was understood that that meant forced disarmament by the nations that had the will to enforce the resolution. And it's not just one nation that will act. At least count, there were a minimum of FIFTEEN nations that have agreed that action must be taken, and most had volunteered support, troops, or funding for action. We are not in this alone. We are enforcing a U.N. resolution. Approval has already been granted. Already there are news reports that Hussein has given mustard and VX (nerve) gases to his troops to use on our troops. How can he dispense these weapons and claim they don't exist at the same time? This is a just military action. The French have been selling Iraq special rocket fuel for illegal rockets Hussein claims he doesn't have. Do they really think we're that stupid? We know he's going to eventually get the technology to launch a weapon of deadly design to this country. Are you willing to be the first casualty if we don't do something about him now?
"Fermez la bouche, Monsieur Daschle". To further punish Tom Daschle for opening his pie-hole and ciriticizing Bush for doing what Tom Daschle voted in favor of last year. That's right. Daschle voted in favor of using military action to resolve this in case the U.N. decided to render itself obsolete. Then the French, who are known for their military prowess, even though they've yet to win a war without the U.S.'s help in at least the last 150 years, (provided they're not attacking people who arm themselves with pointed sticks) decided to neuter the U.N. So, now that we know that the U.N. has no enforcement capability, we've resorted to what works best. Guns. Big ones. By the way, Daschle et. al. are the SAME LAME-BRAINED IDIOTS who were very supportive of Clinton going in to Serbia and Croatia (isn't Serbia an Arab land?) and using our military might to stop "ethnic cleansing" (the polically correct new term for genocide) when the President was a Democrat!! So, Daschle is NOT working in the best interests of the Country he represents, but rather is playing partisan politics on the eve of liberation of an enslaved country. How nice, asshole. you can't even put away your hate for the Republicans for a day and back our country fully. And you want us to seriously consider you for President? Al Sharpton (shown politically here in the cage) has a better chance of getting support. Notice that no one else is criticizing the President in time of war. Clue. Maybe the Democrats have decided to throw Daschle to the wolves. Who knows? But, he certainly is costing his party plenty by issuing crap like that out of it. To be blunt, he views are like a sewer. You never know what will come out, but you're probably not going to like it. Oh yeah, and remember I'm NOT a Republican before you send me hate mail. Because I will embarass you. For all fairness, Zell Miller (D-GA) supports our President on this issue. Bush may be a flatulent turd when he talks about "issues of faith", but he's got the balls to go into Iraq and do what is right and just to help secure our future. And that's just dandy with me. Hey! I've thought up a new joke. How can you tell when Daschle is lying? Answer: his mouth is open. When will the people of South Dakota do something about this liability? I know voter fraud is rampant in South Dakota, but please wake up/dust off the other people to take charge.
Dick Jr.? It appears that Dick Smothers' son, Dick Jr. has decided to become (I kid you not) the "Orson Welles of porn". I hope he doesn't become the David Wells or porn, at least. I hope he doesn't use "Junior" in his name, unless he's taking the same steroids that have probably turned David Wells skin-marbles into grapes.
Ted Turner, now boarding your flight to Iraq. Speaking of idiots with an open pie-hole, the Prime Minister of "verbal diarrhea", Ted Turner, volunteered to go to Baghdad for CNN. Now, as attractive as that sounds, I can't accept his offer unless he takes Jane Fonda with him. Also nauseating, Ted challenged Rupert Murdoch to a fist fight. Rupert threatened to give Ted a "licking". Great. Now I've lost my appetite. Forever.
If you have ideas, comments, or criticisms, please let me know.