French People: The Other OTHER White Meat

Some people have told me that the French are good for nothing. I can hardly disagree more. As a source of protein, they certainly have much to offer the world. So, as my service to the rest of the world, I propose my solution to help end world hunger: let's eat the French.

Considering their propensity for drinking red wine, they should already be well-marinated. Since they don't shower as much as homeless Americans (on average), they should be well-washed before cooking. A large pot should hold the average Frenchman. I recommend adding potatoes and perhaps some carrots. Truffles are especially good with women and/or children. The younger children might need additional marinating. I've been told that Teriyaki makes for a tender morsel.

While most people don't possess a large enough grill for BBQs, separate parts can be fit onto your grill, and the average cleaver can help you there.

If you have a more advanced palette, ginger goes well with northern residents, while fresh rosemary and/or thyme is best on southern residents. Be sure to use plenty of pepper. Salt to taste.

Due to their convenient location, a short trip across the Mediterranean Sea is all that is needed to ship them from their plentiful storage areas to the needy, hungry people of the Dark Continent. The French have been going to Africa for years - at least now they can have a purpose.

Avoid mustard and ketchup, as those two will cause indigestion when combined with ginger and/or truffles.

A fine California wine should be a nice accompaniment to your meal. Try red wines for men, and white wines for women.

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If you have ideas, comments, or criticisms, please let me know.